We Don’t All Get Gold Medals

Imagine a scene with me for a moment.  You are at the Olympics and it’s time for one of the medal ceremonies.  Excitement reigns in the air as three people are brought out before the audience and they stand behind three pedestals of different heights, which they will soon be stepping upon to claim their prizes.  The athletes are all smiles—this is their dream come true.  But then something strange begins to happen.  All along the stage, other stands are raised up out of the ground, as if coming from some secret underground hiding place.  They are raised to the level of the gold medallist stand and then stop.  The silver and bronze medallist stands are also lifted to the height of the gold.  Several other athletes come out into view, each of them placing themselves behind a medal stand.  The announcer finally proclaims, “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the gold medallists of so and so event…”  He begins to list the names of all the athletes that competed in that event; the list is tireless.  The people become bored listening. Why does everyone get a gold medal?

Sound ridiculous?  It should!  This is just not how it works in the Olympics.  There are only three medals to win: gold, silver, and bronze, and only three people receive them.  They are the best; they are the champions, and they understand winning and losing.
Now let me paint another picture for you.  You are a teacher in an elementary school.  All of your students have completed a difficult test; their grades vary.  But you are proud of them all.  They have all put in effort and in your opinion, have done their best.  You announce to the class:

“I am proud of all of you for completing this test.  Now, not all of you got all the answers right, but you all did your best, so everyone gets to go out to ice cream today!”
The class erupts into celebration.  What child doesn’t like ice cream?What Olympian doesn’t like gold medals?

Now, I’m not saying that giving ice cream to children who show up and do their test is bad, but what do we really expect of children in our culture today?  Are we training them to win “gold medals” in life, or are we teaching them that as long as they show up where they are supposed to be and do the best they think they can do, they’ll get recognized and rewarded?  Because it’s just not true.

To win a gold medal takes work.  Even if we train in the skills we have a passion for, we cannot expect to win anything or even to be successful.  It will not be handed to us just because we want it.

But we must train our children on a high level.  We must teach them that life is not fair.  If they want something, they have to dedicate themselves to it but understand that even sometimes when they do their best, there will be others that will be more successful.  Nothing is handed to us.  Let’s not be so “nice” that we steal the life from our children that they could have if we didn’t always give them what they wanted.  Let’s be real.